How It's Meant To Be
by E.Sparks
Summary: Today was the day it all ended for him, there was nothing left but his memories, or was there? Sasuke/Sakura. AU and a tad OOC on Sasukes part...


This a random oneshot i wrote, not really for Sasuke and Sakura but i figured they'd fit here pretty well, as a result its AU, obviously, and a bit OOC on Sasukes part.

Disclaimer: i dont own squat

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Running his hand slowly across the bark of the tree before him, he sighed… it had been such a long time since he'd last been here…far too long..

Drawing his hand back from its previous caress, he clenched his fist tightly before shooting it forward again, desperate for any way to vent his despair. As skin clashed with wood a searing pain shot its way up from his wrist to his shoulder causing his entire arm to shudder. The feeling, however, was welcomed, a wonderful distraction to the anguish that had been washing over him, a tidal wave in the sea of his consciousness.

Jaw set, he repeated the action, relishing in each sweet impact… again…and again…and again… This was his punishment, his escape, it was all he had left of himself, of what he used to be. This place.. This tree.. This pain…

The single tear that had somehow escaped from the dam that had built itself up in his eyes ceased his laments. Shocked at his body's own daring, he stilled, shoulders slumped, and closed his eyes against the torrents that threatened to overflow. What had he done… it was all his fault… if he hadn't left all those years ago, if he hadn't been so foolishly absorbed in that unrealistic dream… things may have been different… he may have had a chance.. and yet… things may have turned out exactly the way they were now…

Forcing back his tears he looked up. Extending his hand once more he began tracing the groves in the tree, lines that held so much meaning yet spelt so many lies. Lines carved by his own hand not only into this tree, but onto his heart so long ago. A heart that, once was vibrant and loud, now simply withering away into silence... He was being a coward, he knew it. He thought he would be able to handle it, thought he could fool the world… a painted smile... a forced laughed… whispered lies of encouragement… all a mask to his suffering… and for a time it worked… too well… There was still a part of him that wished they had seen it, wished _she_ had seen it.

Ever since they were young, she always could read him like a book, even when he tried his hardest not to let her, so why, why now when it was most important, could she not see through his mask, see through the façade he put up… It was probably better this way… better if she never knew… better if she kept that oblivious smile… yes it was better for her to smile… it was that smile that made him agree to this in the first place, that smile that made him agree to sit quietly while his heart died a little more each day… and it was that smile… that same smile, that made him run... He couldn't bear it, he just couldn't bear having to stand at her side and watch that radiant smile that was no longer meant for him, Couldn't bear hearing that sweet voice as she pledged her life to another. No his heart couldn't bear it, not on this, the unholiest of holy days could he ever think it possible to smile back.

Turning, he put his back to the tree before sliding down to a sitting position, it had rained recently and the moisture had already started to seep through his dress pants, but he hardly cared, it didn't matter, he wasn't going back there, there was nothing there for him, he'd simply sit here lost in the memories this place immersed him in.

Mind a blur, he barley noticed, the soft rustling from the bushes that were across from he sat as it slowly grew closer to him, he didn't hear when the noise, after its gradual ascent in volume, abruptly stop, didn't see the figure as it emerge red in the small clearing. No it wasn't until the figure spoke did he realise he was no longer alone..

"I had a feeling I'd find you here.."

His head snapped up, this wasn't real…

" We always were drawn to this place, when we were young…. Carefree"

He was hallucinating…

" I guess, even though we've grown up…"

She couldn't be …

"…and life's not so carefree anymore…"

Not here…

"…this place…"

Not now…

"It still means a lot to us …"

" Sakura…"

His voice, hard and raspy, thick with the emotion that had suddenly welled up in his throat. He watched as she walked towards him, each word that passed through her parting lips continued to close the distance between them.

" We've been looking for you for hours, I'm pretty sure Neji is a little more than annoyed with me right now…" She wasn't looking at him, but was gazing up at the old oak he was still resting on, eyes slightly glazed over, voice soft. A small laugh fell from her lips as she continued.

" I was adamant though, I told them I couldn't very well get married without my best friend there with me, now could I?"

Tilting her head back down to look at him she smiled.

" I'm sorry I had to lie…"

There it was, that smile, that horrifyingly beautiful smile… That smile was his undoing. He forced his eyes closed, willing himself into composure.

" Why?"

He wasn't sure what she had met by the statement… he wasn't entirely sure he even wanted to find out, however, a small part of him… that very small part of him that persisted in fighting the darkness that had ebbed its way into his being… dared to hope.

" Well, it really isn't good at lie, it is a sin after all, and then you have to be worr-…"

"Why!"

The words had left his mouth a bit harsher than he had meant, but he needed answers. She was nervous, that much was evident from her tone. She was never one to avoid a question, always so brave, so bold…. dashing into situations without a single conflicting thought… so what was she doing now? He could only think of one logical explanation… She was scared… Scared of what he would think of whatever it was she had to say.

When they were younger, she always valued his input on frivolous things like dresses and hairstyles, was always worried about what he'd think of her if she did something wrong… But his opinion never changed, his feelings never changed, so what was it now, now that they had been through so much, that she was afraid to tell him.

The silence drudged on for a about minute, before he chanced a look at her face. Again she wasn't looking at him, instead, her eyes darted about the ground as if trying to find her answers deep within its soil. As he continued to study her face, he noticed a few scratches running along her cheek, it was only then did his eyes drop down, taking her in fully.

Most of her hair had fallen out of its elaborate twist, it's now messy curls home to an assortment of twigs and leaves, her bare shoulders bore similar scratches to her face, the white fabric that clung to swell of her breasts before dipping in to hug contours of her waist, were torn in several places. The extravagant fluff of the skirt, covered in mud and grass stains, some of which indicating that she had fallen a few times during her long trek here through the forest. It wasn't surprising, she was never the most graceful of persons, however, to him, she had never looked more beautiful.

He was stripped from his inner musings when she spoke.

" I-I was wondering why you didn't come to see me all morning, it wasn't until about 15 minutes before the service did someone tell me you weren't there at all… I'd tried to postpone it… I told them you'd be there, but when the time came to start the march… you weren't …."

Looking up at him finally she smiled again, however this smile was hollow.. Standing he moved cautiously forward until he was directly in front of her, head tilted downward in order to stare into her eyes.. He'd find the truth there..

"That doesn't answer the question…."

He was so close to her now he could smell her, the vanilla and jasmine that just so undoubtedly her.

"I couldn't do it..." she whispered.

"Why? Why Sakura? The essential parts of a wedding, in case you've forgotten are the bride and the groom… both of whom, I assume, were at the church before you ran off.." he was upset now, why did she have to be here now. Why couldn't she understand he didn't want to be at her wedding, he couldn't be at her wedding, not if he wanted to keep his sanity.

"Why?"

"I needed to ask you something.."

He only stared at her, his silence telling her to elaborate

" Well… not so much ask… but tell…but I kinda want you to tell me what you think about it.. So I guess I am asking you something…but I definitely have something to tell you…"

He smirked slightly, she was babbling again, he always loved it when she would jabber on about meaningless topics, but there were more important matters to discuss. Reaching up with his hand he pinched her mouth shut, ceasing her rambling. Her eyes shone with a hint of mirth at the familiar gesture and soon she nodded her head, a sign she was ready to talk.

"What if I told you it was a mistake… what would think?" she asked as soon as her lips were released, as though afraid she may loose her nerve if she paused.

Raising an eyebrow he stared at her, "Well that would depend entirely on what the 'it' was now wouldn't it?"

He watched as she chewed on her lip ever so slightly before answering abruptly.

"Us."

"What?"

"Us. What we are to each other. What if I told you it was all a mistake. At least to me.."

If he somehow lived through this day, using the word shocked to describe his emotions would be a grave understatement. Taking a step back from her, he looked like he had been slapped, coming to make him watch her get married was one thing, but to tell him, after all these years, she thought their friendship was a mistake.. He could feel the bubble of hope that had been slowly expanding within the hollows of his chest burst in a massive explosion… this day couldn't get any worse.

"You came all the way out here, just to tell me you didn't want be friends anymore… you could have just sent me a letter from Hawaii or where ever the hell your going honeymooning" he didn't try very hard to hide the bitterness in his voice… it didn't matter anymore.

Apparently, his statement had caught her off guard, while she had slowly been able to get a handle on her nerves, his words seem to cause a streak of fear to flash across her features, the colour draining from her face ever so slightly.

"NO!! Sasuke! That's not what I meant… I mean… it is what I mean but … not the way you said it .. I mean.. ugghh!!!

He watched her strangely as she continued, seemingly close to hysterics, he didn't have time to further contemplate her mental health before she screamed,

" OH JUST DAMN IT ALL, I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!!!"

He could only stare at her wide eyed as her rant continued. _'No'_ he thought _' shocked wouldn't work here either'_

" I've damn welled love you since we were kids but you just had to go off and leave didn't you!! I tried to wait for you I really did but you didn't come back, and as soon as I move on, as soon as I find a guy I actually like you just _had_ to show up then, and bring those stupid feelings I had for you back with them!" she paused a bit to take a breath but resumed again the second she had filled her tiny lungs

"I didn't want to want you, but I couldn't help it and that's why I couldn't go through with the wedding unless I told you and … and… and.. " her voice softened "I should have told you.. That was my mistake.. I should have just gotten it over with and saved my self all this trouble…either way we wouldn't have been friends, we could have been more.. Or.. You … you could have left any way… but no mater what ... I would have known.. "

It took a little while before his brain registered she was actually crying, her face red from all the pent up frustration. Never exactly sure what to do with crying females, and considering his mind was far too numb to think, he decided to follow his instincts; moving forward again he pulled her body to his in a strong embrace.

He was suddenly aware of everything, the soft breeze that blew on her loose stands of hair, the glow of the setting sun as bounced off her skin, the way her body fit with his, the way her heart beat on his chest, seemingly resuscitating his own.

The dams in his eyes were ready to burst free again, but this time he did nothing to quell the flow. Pulling back he cupped her cheek, slowly stroking it with his thumb as she leaned into his caress. Carefully he tilted her head bringing it up slightly before gently pressing his lips to hers. As their tears intermingled he realised this was how it was meant to be.

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review! plz?


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